Hag's 4: Five Night's at the Potion Shop - The Haggifying of '87

Thank you guys once again for supporting my blog. Unfortunately, this may be the last blog for now anyway until I have been able to find more research…

After I took my shot to my ass cheeks, Shrek came in and healed my layers with onions. I collapsed onto my hands and knees to repay the favor, the Ogre Lord accepted and he did what he had to do. After the Shrekoning, I came to the realization that the only way to truly eliminate the Hag, I would have to erase blue potions from existence!

I made a time machine out of onions that I borrowed from Shrek. I thanked him for the onions. I traveled back to the year 2000 when Magic Hag was created in Majora’s Mask where she sold blue potions. I will be entering the first copy of the game, and stay at the Potion Shop for FIVE NIGHTS, watching that she doesn’t taste the BP. I will also be having updates that she doesn’t drink it. See you till then:

UPDATE - APRIL 27, 2000; 1:02 AM

It’s really quite in the shop. I think the coding of the game is making it’s last touches in the program.

UPDATE - APRIL 27, 2000; 3:17 AM

The Hag was coded into the shop right now. I’m underneath the table where she puts the potions on display. She laughs every few minutes; I think I hear someone opening the box of the game. I look up from the inner cartrige to see an adolescent teenager putting it in the console. As he starts it up, I watch him progress for a while. I’ll update again when things get interesting.

UPDATE - APRIL 28, 2000; 2:39 PM

This kid is taking a while to get to the Hag’s crib, so I just fluttered around for a bit…

UPDATE - APRIL 28, 2000; 3:01 PM

He’s here at the Southern Swamp. I see him by the Boat Cruise house. He’s still as a Deku right now, but I hear the pitter-patter steps. Each getting closer to the shop. I can hear the Hag getting ready for her first customer. He opens the door, the music begins to play. I’m waiting, but he just speaks to the Hag and the whole game scenario starts: Her sister is in trouble, and the Hag wants YOU to do it cause’ she’s too lazy to rescue her sister herself (despite her having a broom). He leaves, then everything powers down. Nothing with the BP’s has happened yet, i’ll check back later. UPDATE - APRIL 29, 2000; 12:13 AM

After a few hours of the Console being turned off, the kid turned it back on. This woke me up. Everything powered on, except, for the Hag. She wasn’t powered up yet. I saw Link’s avatar approaching from the Owl Statue and I was worried that the game would crash. It didn’t suprisingly, when he entered, the music and everything turned on. I’m thinking about leaving this place, this mission was a complete waste of time.

UPDATE - APRIL 30, 2000; 4:06 PM

I heard the kid packing up for something. It looked like he was going on vacation, which when I listened into his conversations, he was. They would be gone for a week. So, I couldn’t escape the game if it was off. I needed to get back to the Onion Time Machine as quickly as possible. I would’ve left the Shop until something caught my eye: The Hag was gone. I assumed that in-game time tooks it’s toll and the game was on it’s second day now since she most likely left for the Woods to search for her sister. I left the shop to investigate by going into the Lost Woods. I’ll check back tomorrow…

UPDATE - APRIL 31, 2000; 9:43 PM

As I entered the Lost Woods, I started to hear high-pitched laugh. I knew it was just the Hag, but I had a shiver down my spine, like some sort of natural feeling or fear about it. Despite this, I continued closer and closer. Each step it would get louder, but also sounded like it was getting further away. I saw the final tunnel at the Lost Woods with the 3 signs that normally said that each exit will make you read. But, these signs said “NO BLUE POTIONS”. All 3 of them. There was a red spot in the middle of them, almost looked like blood. I proceeded North, but I was truly not prepared on what I saw: The Hag was beating her sister’s legs as her sister cried out in pain, but the Hag. She was laughing. She was also covered in blue liquid. I realized it: I was too late. The Hag finally got her potions. The last part was truly disturbing, and I screamed when I saw it: The Hag slit her sister’s throat and cut off her head. She planted her broom into the ground, placing her sister’s head on the stick’s end. Then the Hag started dancing around it and laughing. I knew what I had to do: I lunged at the Hag and strangled her until I knew she was dead. The game produced extremely loud static at this point, so much that my ears began to bleed. The overworld was pixelating, but a portal leading back to my time and home opened up. I entered it. I landed back on my bed, and searched “Magic Hag” on Google. No results came up! YES! SHE’S DEAD! I cry out. But...I see her behind me… She...she’s never dead... Thats, when I realized:

The Hag is the true ruler over the Majora’s Mask world. She is the decider of who drinks and who dies (of course only her and her sister (at a price of 999 rupees) can drink BP’s). I had no say in it, I can’t disrupt the natural Hag order. I know now…

There really are...no blue potions in stock…

HACKING CODE: 10 TERMINAL:/// hmlp?code_systemoverride.mlpHAGnbp_10ko46hHgm38_a113nobluepotions/npb?securityoverride?35o45_system_security_breach

KEEEEEEEEE! IF YOU EVER COME BACK TO MY SHOP TO SEE IF I HAVE BLUE POTIONS, I WILL KEEEEL YOU! KE KE KE KE KE KE KE! NO BLUE POTIONS ARE IN STOCK! AND NOW YOU MUST LEAVE MY SHOP! HE HE HE! BLUE POTIONS ARE NEVER IN STOCK, SO NEVER RETURN TO MY SHOP! HE HE HE!