Chickenopia: A Complete History

'DISCLAIMER: This blog will be updated every once in awhile so please check back in for more content, thanks. Also this has nothing to do with Magic Hag or potions.'

Although this has nothing to do with the Magic Hag universe, I felt like I should post this in order to help inform this generation about an ancient tribe. Of course over the sands of time this tribe has disappeared from the face of history, and there are many theories as to why, whether it be extinction or extra-terrestrial involvement. So here in this page, you will learn about the ancient tribe that existed long before mankind and perhaps the universe itself! So here it is: The complete known history of Chickenopia. This will be updated about 1 - 5 times a week/month, (really whenever I get around to it) filled with new knowledge so be sure to check back in.

 THE BEGINNING 

In an eliptical galaxy billions of light years away, a powerful deity known as “The Golden Chicken Wing” had decided to use it’s Godly powers to create a civilization that would obey and worship it forever. It then created the world known as Chickenopia, where it’s inhabitants were drumsticks. But, in the process of creating the world, a negative-energy filled planet known as the Planet of the Fish McBites was created along side of it.

The beings residing on Chickenopia would be known as Chickenopians. They were a tribal-like people who were very tasty. There are many races of Chickenopians including Fried, Grilled, and Original Recipe.

The beings residing on the Planet of the Fish McBites were known as McDonians; beings who worshipped the America food chain known as McDonalds. They were the natural enemy of the McDonians and were much more advanced than the Chickenopians.

 THE CRISPY WAR 

The Crispy War first began as a concept created by the McDonians when they discovered how to do interstellar-travel. They knew that the Chickenopians would copy their technology so they created a plan about what to do when the Chickenopians/McDonians declared war. As a result, multiple tests were made using the McDonians technology to pro-create a being like the Golden Chicken Wing: The Golden Fish McBite. After having created the ultimate weapon, the McDonians led the Invasion of Spices in the heart of Chickenopia. The war was waged for 1000 years and was finally over when the GCW intervened and banished the McDonian army to the Realm of the Vegetables.

During this new era, the McDonians began the "Fishy Turn" decree where they enslaved the Vegetonians to do their every bidding.

Soon after their creator appeared the Chickenopians began to become intrigued by the chain of events that unfolded. Soon, the Chickenopians began to do dangerous tasks to find answers as to who they were and why they were created. Those who did not wish to follow were executed. Over 1,200 Chickenopians were killed as a result. After 5 years of journeying across their world they had came across the Crispy Mountains to which they were led to a temple known as the Golden Hallway...

 THE GOLDEN HALLWAY or THE GOLDEN BEINGS CHAMBER 

The Golden Hallway (or The Golden Beings Chamber) The Golden Hallways were centered around puzzles that were beyond Chickenopian comprehension. The Chickenopians were confused, as they had never seen a language such as that imprinted on the puzzles before. It took 247 years but the Chickenopians finally deciphered the language and called it Chickenese. The Chickenopians also realized that the puzzles could not be solved with mere Chicken-made tools, but perhaps Godly tools?

The Chickenopians discovered what the tool for solving the puzzles was. The 4 (Chickenopian) Staffs of Power! Each was crafted and received from the Golden Chicken Wing itself and each had a puzzle of it’s own. When solved, the Staffs true power would be unleashed! The 4 Staffs are: The Staff of Fire, The Staff of Ice, The Staff of Feathers, and The Staff of Grease. The Staff of Fire shot flames and magma reaching temperatures over 54,000,000˚F (30,000,000˚C), nearly twice as hot as the Earth's sun. The Staff of Ice shot ice particles which froze things instantly. It's temperatures were recorded to reach Absolute Zero (in Kelvin temperature). The Staff of Feathers shot winds that reached over 25,000mph (40226.781857451 km/h.). The Staff of Grease was likely the most dangerous of all: The Staff shot out Bacon Grease that were over 10,000,000 times more powerful and faster than a Fire Hose and could even pierce through Titanium.

 THE MCDONIAN UPRISING 

Although the Chickenopians had discovered much knowledge, the McDonians had returned from the Realm of the Vegetables. The McDonians had enslaved the Vegetonians to create a portal to travel to the Overworld. The McDonians soon began to attack with their new ally: The Vegetonians! However, the Chickenopians were well armed with the Staffs, so they quickly diminished the McDonians by the millions in just a matter of seconds.

Despite the Chickenopians being capable of holding their own against the McDonian forces, the McDonians called on their ultimate weapon: The Golden Fish McBite. As the Chickenopians all attacked with the Staffs simultaneously, the GFM (Golden Fish McBite) was capable of deflecting their attacks and broke each of the Staffs into 3 separate pieces each. The Chickenopians quickly retreated and lost the battle, but the GCW (Golden Chicken Wing) came to their aid. The GCW and the GFM engaged in an all-out battle. They were equally matched and the GCW banished both to the ethernal realm where they would forever brawl until the end of time.

 THE SHADOW WING OF MCDONALDS 

The McDonians soon realized they would never be seeing their ultimate weapon ever again. In spite of this, the McDonians were determined on creating a second ultimate weapon, even more powerful than the last one. So, the McDonians began capturing Chickenopians and using them as test subjects. After many experiments, along with DNA traces of the GCW's feathers, they had created a doppelgänger of the GCW known as the Shadow Wing of McDonalds. Although this new weapon was over twice as strong as the GCW, the Shadow Wing quickly betrayed it's creators and the McDonians were incapable of containing the weapon. The Shadow Wing escaped and quickly began to spread chaos in its wake.

 THE BATTLE OF THE ETERNITIES 

The GCW sensed much evil and danger. It halted it’s battle with the GFM and would resume it later. The GCW traveled across the lands and came across the Shadow Wing. It engaged in another battle which had lasted 100 years until the Shadow Wing was finally defeated. The GCW had known that the Fish McBites had yet to come to peace so the GCW had all Chickenopians transformed into Mighty Wings to better their natural defenses. Stronger, Smarter, Bigger, Faster, and Louder. The GCW had left for good and would leave it's people to be independent. No longer would the Golden Chicken Wing ever return. As of this, the GCW became legend...legend became myth...and myth? Well, the myth would be passed down generation to generation. The story of the first generation of the Chickenopians.

 THE ANCIENT CHICKENOPIAN BATTLE SUIT 

The Chickenopians knew they couldn’t rely on their creator forever, which is why the Chickenopian Battle Suit was created. Anyone who made it to the end of the Golden Hallway could wear it. It was made of Crispy Iron, so it was indestructable. It possesed great power, such as to fire beams out of a gun of your arm! It is unknown if it still exists today. Many researchers continue to try and find this all-powerful suit.

 THE BORING AGE 

Ever since the Crispy Age had ended, Earth had become boring with cities, news, etc. Some believe that Earth was once Chickenopia. But the legends say that Chickenopia resided in an eliptical galaxy that is billions of light years away. However, some historians still believe that Earth was the once legendary Chickenopia.

Although this is the complete history of the Chickenopian story, there are still events related to Chickenopia that still question it's existence. A prime example is the legendary Excavation Site 6664 incident were a famous excavation was held for 10 years and more information on the legendary Chickenopia was discovered...

This, is Excavation Site 6664

 EXCAVATION SITE 6664 

Excavation Site 6664 began around 10 years ago behind the backs of Earth. This legendary Excavation was held secret from the world because political leaders believed that humans were not ready to comprehend the existence of other beings (either that or the concept of living Chicken Wings was absolutely ridiculous). The Excavation Site was held on the abandoned planet of Chickenopia. Us humans are already capable of interstellar-travel but it just hasn't been released to the public yet. During the excavation, many artifacts and relics were found. When the Excavation Captains and crew arrived, they recorded that the planet was completely abandoned. The Excavation had 3 captains and 407 crew members. The Excavation lasted for a total of 632 days (1 year, 8 months). At the reconnaissance mission of the Excavation Site, a notebook was found containing log entries for the excavation. What is listed below are entries from the notebook. Archeologists have tried to preserve this book but due to it's quality, the book is difficult to read. In response to this, some parts have been blurred out to show that part was unreadable. Many of the log entries were either too blurry to read or were destroyed. What is left of the notebook is guarded with extreme security.

This photo shows an actual copy of the Excavation Log Book. It is currently being held at the [DELETED] Museum of History. There were a total of 812 entries but only a handful of them were able to be read and saved.

 Logbook Entry #3 

The ancient texts describe an artifact known to them as the -- Rod. It is my firm belief this item is instrumental to -- energy of the elemental stones. Unfortunately, neither the --r the stones have -- recovered from any of our dig sites. I feel we must -- regardless. As such, I have drawn up plans to create replica rods based on the descriptions from the main chamber. I will instruct -- to begin fabrication im--diately.

 Logbook Entry #4 

Researching --tinues to yield unforeseen results. The conversion process creates localized energy fields which appear to function as portals, bringing forth objects of indeterminate origin. It is my hypothesis, how-- -ndish, that this transferral of matter may actually be occuring through -- and time. I believe the answer may lay with the broken rune stones located at the Chickenopian -- Site a-- - - --, perhaps -- sufficient energy from the conversion generators to their location may -- fruitful.

 Logbook Entry #7 

It is by chance or fate alone that we unlocked the seal to -- chamber. Repeated efforts to use brute force proved ineffective and left the men exhausted and frustrated. In an effort to alleviate the tension, one of the soldiers brought a --to the chamber along with a -- from a group of performers known as "Smashmouth". To our astonishment, as we listened to the first few bars of music, the seal itself began to open. I cannot help but wonder if other -- may similarly -- other areas of the --.

 Logbook Entry #37 

When I awoke this morning, I learned of mysterious events that took place during the night. Men working on the installation of the --, reporting seeing Chicken Wings emerging from the --. I would doubt their story, but for the fact that -- morning, many of the men were either dead or missing.

 Logbook Entry #39 

When -- channeled towards the --es, an energy field appears to drag unknown objects into our reality. Is it possible that -- is disrupting the space time continuum itself? How else could an --, created eons ago bring forth weapons from different eras? Perhaps including even our own future! Further study is needed to understand these powerful and unpredictable forces.

 Logbook Entry #64 

The --cBite's voice calls to me more frequently than ever. At -- spoke only of -- imprisonment in a mythical realm known as "Planet of the --". Now -- claims to be my --, even though I know no such -- exists! (sigh) I fear my sanity may be slipping away from me.

 Logbook Entry #71 

I fear that the safety -- our crew members -- be our most important priority. The fact that -- had 407 crew members to begin with, -- only 112 now is - frightening thought...

 Logbook Entry #649 

My research is leading my men into further danger. I feel that we were unprepared for this operation. 1 of the other captains have disappeared and there was no trace of him. Some of the crew members have begun to commit suicide out of fear for being abducted by those beings. They come and go like the wind, I don't know how much longer we will last. But one thing is for sure, on this planet, we aren't alone...

That was the last of the entries, and with it, the knowledge of Chickenopia was never recorded...

 THE BACONIANS 

The Baconians were a race that almost seemed unreal: Living strips of Bacon. They were said to be superior to the Chickenopians and McDonians in every way, shape, and form. They were, according to the Chickenopian Scriptures, said to be a divine race and that their leader surpassed even the Golden Chicken Wing itself! The Laconians were said to be capable of miracles and wonders beyond imagination. One Chickenopian Scripture recorded: "They were like gifts from the GCW, delicious and amazing in every way. One Laconian had wings like the GCW and a greasy Halo around it's head. It was a generous being and offered us an unlimited supply of Smoked Bacon. It was a miracle." Truly, the Baconians seemed like a significantly different species than the Chickenopians and McDonians.

Their race seems to be that of divinity and do not appear to had even existed at all. But according to Chickenopian Legend: "Their great leader 'The Almight Bacon Strip' appeared to us and decreed that it was responsible for the creation of the GCW and that The Almighty Bacon Strip was our true creator. It justified this by creating another Golden Chicken Wing in front of our very eyes..."

The Baconian race seems rather mysterious, but whether they existed or not is up to you.

Another scripture states: "TABS declared that it was to be worshipped and praised from now on, and that it would give us 1 Crisp (50,267 years) to decide. We were unsure who to truly worship for our creation: The GCW or TABS."