Magic Hag's Potion Shop (CREEPYPASTA)

It had been over 10 years since I'd played Majora's Mask. As luck would have it on that Tuesday afternoon when I bought the cartridge, I would think twice about purchasing merchandise from an old man in a garage… It all began in July of 2014 when I was working at the local corner store in my town. We never really had anyone come in, the town I lived in was barren, not a single person in sight. It's like one of those abandoned towns that you'd see in western movies, only that this was supposed to be a modern era. I was surprised that the manager was still keeping this place open, considering that a customer comes only once in a while. The store is near this old highway that was supposedly used in the dark ages to burn witches or something like that. All just urban legends.

It was around noon, I was going to work the graveyard shift tonight for overtime. I was saving up money to order a copy of Majora's Mask for the Nintendo 64. I remember playing the shit out of that thing, I absolutely loved it. Along with GoldenEye 007, and Conker's Bad Fur Day, Majora's Mask will always be the most memorable games of my life. The manager came in around 3 o'clock. He told me that I could go home early today if I wanted because we were going to close early. I thanked him, I went to the Starbucks nearby and got myself a white chocolate mocha.

Surprisingly there were actually a number of people there. I also picked up a copy of the newspaper for the day, I saw an add of someone wanting to sell free N64 cartridge. I couldn't believe what I saw, it was exactly the opportunity I was looking for. I got up and ran outside. Some stupid old people were in the way so I pushed them. I got to my Honda and drove to the address provided on the advertisement. I was looking back at the Starbucks and saw those old people were giving me the death stare, I kept thinking to myself "What did I do to them?". I literally don't know what I did wrong. I continued driving.

When I drove to the provided address, I saw a car in the parking space. I opened the backdoors and saw my college buddy Kyle. I asked him what he was doing here, and he said, as luck would have it, wanting some free N64 cartridges as I did. I told him that I called dibs on Majora's Mask if the old guy had it.

When I approached the man's house, there was something wrong. There was no old man, no garage, and no cartriges. I went to go knock on the door, as soon as I was going to, the old man opened the door almost immediately. I almost got a heart attack from that. I asked him where the games were and he told me to come inside.

There was only one cartridge that was left, and surprise surprise, it was a copy of Majora's Mask. However, it was covered in duck tape and said in permanent marker "MAJORA". I asked the old man if the copy was legit, in response he said "No blue potions are in stock, and now you must leave my shop." Even now I don't know what he meant by that. The guy lived alone so the isolation was probably starting to go to his head. I got back in my Honda and drove to my apartment. I went inside and put the cartridge in my N64.

The game started as usual, the N64 logo, the Majora's Mask coming towards the screen. But, it was a little glitchy. It froze for about 2 seconds. Luckily, I had my handy stopwatch with me. But, the game proceeded as normal. I saw a save file already on it. It was named "NBP". The file's data showed that none of the boss' remains were there. There were only 3 hearts, and it looked as though the file were just made. I played it normally instead of the scene were Link was attacked by the Skull Kid in the Lost Woods, I was at the Southern Swamp. I noticed that the world was extremely pixelated, and the color of everything was blue. The boat was below the boat cruise place, and it looked as though blue paint were spattered on it. I tried to get on, but whenever I tried to, Link would get shocked with lightning and would lose a heart.

If I tried to leave the area, extremely loud static would produce from the TV. The first time it happened, it shocked me so bad that I almost spilled my drink on the console. I continued to play. There were some areas that weren't extremely pixelated. It seemed almost as if it formed a pathway. I went to it and the pathway led me to the Magic Hag's Potion Shop. I climbed up the ladder and entered the shop.

Normally, the hag would be asleep on the job, but she had hyper-realistic blood shot eyes that looked menacing! As I tried to talk to the hag, she said "…" I tried to leave the shop, but the door said it was locked. I opened up the inventory and noticed that I had a blue potion with me. I tried to exit the inventory, but when I did a text box in blue appeared saying "The property of the Mag" I put the blue potion in the right C-Selection. As soon as I exited the inventory screen, another text in blue said "DRINK IT." So I did, the game went black for approximately 7.053 seconds. Then, a picture of the hag appeared with hyper-realistic blood dripping from her eyes. It was so realistic that it looked as though you could touch it. Then, a clip of her sister in the lost woods showed the hag mercilessly beating her sister with her broom. She kept crying out “KEE KEE!!” I was so scared and sad at the same time, they were old, 1000 year old hags being beaten. I was slightly crying. However, my teary moment wouldn’t last. Because the game went black again for, according for my stopwatch, 14.003 seconds.

The TV showed about 7.02 second clips of police men carrying away body bags. One of the bodies fell out, and to my suprise, it was the magic hag’s sister. The police men threw the bag into the emergency vehicle and I saw another body. But, it was of me! Normally, where blood would be, the blood was blue. I started to regret playing Majora’s Mask. Next, a super-realistic face of the potion shop hag appeared, and according to my television it had a 1080p resolution and was in high definition. It appeared to be 60 fps, along with 4k resolution, and blue liquid everywhere. A text box appeared saying “ARE BLUE POTIONS IN STOCK?” Along with an option of YES and NO. Out of fear I selected NO. Then, 12 seconds passed and the N64 Console exploded! The only thing remaining was the cartrige. A small fire spread about in the room.

I started my 2006 Infinity and drove to the old man’s home. When I arrived, I saw police men arresting him. I rushed over to the police men. I had asked them what had happened, because I was at his house a little over an hour ago. He stated that “This man has been charged of crimes against humanity, piracy, and illegal alienism within the U.S.” Right before the old man was put into the back of the police car, I approached and asked “...Who are you?” In response, he said “I am Kotake - The Magic Hag!!!!! KEEE! HE HE HE!!” The police car exploded! And blue potion liquid was everywhere all over the scene. I miraculously survived the explosion…

I dragged myself to my car and drove home. I arrived at my house, but I saw it was on fire. I called 911 and as the operator said “Hello?” I looked at the ground and saw the cartrige. It’s black marker name had changed, to blue. That's when I realized...

Blue potions aren't in stock. It all makes sense now...